Well. This is awkward. Apparently, when you die, someone is supposed to write your obituary. And since my Girl has a well-documented tendency toward excessive wordiness—and is currently in absolutely NO condition to be trusted with this assignment—I have decided to handle it myself. You’re welcome. I am Baloo Van Bergen, a devastatingly handsome Portuguese Water Dog who entered this world on January 31, 2013, and left it on August 28, 2026, after 13½ years of supervising Amy