Unicorns, Marriages, and Governance: What Vu Le, Joan Garry, and BoardSource Agree On

As I have grown as a nonprofit professional, my three favorite and most reliable sources of information on how to be the BEST nonprofit person I can be are: Vu Le, Joan Garry and BoardSource. Lately, I have been thinking a lot about the partnership that is so critical to the success of all nonprofits: the relationship between the executive director and the Board.

Here it is in a nutshell if you don't want to read further: This relationship should be a PARTNERSHIP, not a power struggle.

Nonprofit boards and executive directors often get stuck in power struggles, awkward miscommunications, and/or mismatched expectations. But here's the truth: when the executive director and the Board work together as equal partners, the entire organization wins, which in turn means the mission wins and all those you serve win.

Boards Govern, EDs Manage.. and then it gets Messy...

BoardSource has written volumes on this: boards govern, staff manage. Seems clear enough, right? Except it is almost always messier.

• Boards shouldn't just set policy and then vanish; they champion the mission, open doors to new clients and donors, and they help hold the entire organization accountable.

• Executive directors don't just "manage the staff;" they set vision, run fundraisers, serve as the group's Chief Worrier, and often they are the person unclogging copiers and toilets.

That's why partnership matters. It's less about staying in your lane and more about driving in the same direction without sideswiping each other.

Vu Le's Take: Stop Pretending

Vu Le who writes the amazing Nonprofit AF blog has zero tolerance for the "pretend dance" between a Board and its executive director. Boards ask: "Why didn't this event raise more money?" while EDs smile and nod while screaming internally. Vu's usual advice is simply to STOP pretending.

Instead Le suggests the following:

• Boards should ask: "What barriers can we help remove so that fundraising is more successful?"

• EDs should be more honest: "Here's where I am really struggling and I could use some help from you as a Board."

Be transparent and stop the drama. No one has time for board meetings as a theatrical production for the benefit of no one.

Treat Your Relationship like a Marriage: Joan Garry's Take

Joan Garry writes, teaches and hosts the podcast Nonprofits are Messy, and she often compares the relationship between the CEO and Board to a marriage. If you think about that, it's true--you are stuck together for better or worse, you share finances, and you argue about top priorities. And when you stop communicating well, resentment builds.

Garry's best advice? Make time for the relationship. This might mean regular check-ins, like regular "date nights" and celebrating any and all wins. Above all else, boards and EDs need to remember that while they come from very different perspectives, we are all on the same team.

My Takeaways from these Three Great

Sources?

1. Talk, don't guess --be very clear with your communication (and make time for it!)

2. Share power--boards bring governance authority while the executive director brings the expertise and the lived reality. Both are worthy of respect.

3. Stay mission-focused--disagreements will always happen. The mission needs to be the North Star, not anyone's ego.

4. Celebrate together--nonprofit work is exhausting. Take the wins when you can and always share the credit. Anything less will lead to burnout.

Final Words

The Board-ED relationship is NOT about hierarchy. It's not about "being the boss", "managing the ED" or the ED doing all of the work. It is about partnership.

BoardSource would call this partnership good governance. Vu Le would call it "dropping the BS." And Joan Garry might refer to it as a healthy marriage.

Whatever you or I might call it, when boards and executive directors commit to working as equals, they create the kind of partnership that makes missions soar. Because when leadership is shared, impact is multiplied.